Impartial Gud

In right now’s group tarot readings for summer time streams, I’m going to verify I get some PlayStation predictions out the door earlier than the Sony presentation. In the event you missed the prior tarot predictions article, click on right here.

Let’s get proper to it!

Cathedral asks: Has Half-Life 3 been confirmed?

Card drawn: Queen of Energy

The Queen of Energy has many nice qualities. She speaks and leads with poise. She slays. She nails it. She will get issues accomplished.

Sadly, she will not be married to The Gaben and if she was she’d demand Portal 3. And ask to provide Steam Decks extra discreet packaging to stop porch piracy.

It might be a triumph.

YT asks: Will we ever hear something about Silksong ever once more? Ever?

Playing cards drawn: The Magician, The Idiot, The Empress

Oh, thank Lolth, I don’t have look within the D&D Tarot Deck information for this one. All upright playing cards, too. That’s often good!

The Magician bursts into the courtroom of The Empress, shouting, “It’s taking place. A brand new journey is manifesting!”

The courtroom jester’s eyes widen and he asks “An journey! For me? An opportunity for brand spanking new beginnings?!”

“No, you Idiot! This can be a brand new journey for cute bugs who’re unhappy,” the Magician explains.

“However when will it occur?” the jester asks.

The Empress rises from her throne and says, “I’m the explanation it’s taking place. It is going to be accomplished when it’s accomplished. Get pleasure from this trailer till then. I shall now return to my chamber and relaxation.”

The Idiot turns to The Magician and asks, “WTF is a trailer?”

“Hell if I do know,” he replies. “The methods of Empress Cherry are mysterious.”

Cockaroach asks: Will Sony announce a computer port for Bloodborne?

Playing cards drawn: Ten of Energy reversed, The Solar, 9 of Charisma

Including PC releases to the combo has weighed on Sony, because the upended Ten of Energy implies. It looks like some good issues are coming, although — like Returnal.

And reward The Solar, it seems like Demon’s Souls is within the playing cards! However a return to Yharnam?

The 9 of Charisma actually screams “Yar!” However is {that a} affirmation or an invite to loot and plunder? Hahaha… I do not know what that final half implies.

Regardless, all of us need Bloodborne on PC. Do it!

CelicaCrazed asks too many issues: Will Sony revive Warhawk? Will Gamepass come to PlayStation or Change? Will we get any new remasters from the Dreamcast?

Playing cards drawn: Web page of Knowledge reversed (heart), Ace of Intelligence reversed (left). Knight of Knowledge (proper), 4 of Knowledge (prime), Six of Knowledge reversed (backside)

A tarnished knight is bewildered on the different individuals hanging the wrong way up earlier than him, pondering why so many others have fallen and why he should stay and die, time and time once more, irrespective of how good he acquired.

Then he gazes as much as see a gnome nestled excessive up in an erdtree, blissful and petting a fox. He has ascended, not involved with issues like scarlet rot or religion builds.

He has all of the knight may ever need — each Dreamcast sport on the Change and has Gamepass, too! And a brand new Warhawk sport!

However the knight will stay alone under, solely to toil. Eternally maidenless…

He curses the gnome after which will get murdered by a Putrid Avatar.

Riffraff asks: When will I get extra Pushmo?

Card drawn: Seven of Knowledge

The Seven of Knowledge is the monkey’s paw of upright playing cards. You suppose you’re reaching for the backyard hose and it seems to be a snake. That dwarf thinks he’s getting a blessing of immortality from a faerie, however they requested for his identify and pronouns first.

The blessing was given and the fae is now often known as Horst Alefender and gleefully added that to the record of names and pronouns he’s taken as his personal. Has just a few dozen “he/hims,” fifteen “they/thems” and forty-five “she/hers” — and that’s earlier than we get to the opposite, fancier ones Horst has collected.

Now, we should discuss with the … oh proper… because the Anonymous and Pronounless One. Has gaps in reminiscence together with the immortality, so tattoos are wanted to maintain monitor of issues. Kinda like that Christopher Nolan flick with Man Richie.

So do you actually need extra Pushmo? Would you like one other mindscrew puzzle sport? Have you ever seen how Baba is You breaks individuals?

Watch out what you would like for.

Zalno asks: Will Sony honor digital purchases for PS2 video games like what they’re kind of doing for the PS1? Or failing that, will they port them to the PC and fuck off already?

Playing cards drawn: King of Charisma, The Satan, 4 of Energy

The King of Charisma has his eyes locked with Ji… The Satan. The king will want our assist. We should stand with him as he performs his Lute of Divine Justice.

If we imagine within the king, he’ll see PAL variations of PS1 video games banished to hell and changed with NTSC variations. If we be part of him and face The Satan, PS2 purchases can finally be honored.

It needs to be like a JRPG spirit bomb, like when Cecil and his mates confronted Zeromus. Or that point we killed everybody that made Nier Automata and Tremendous Smash Bros.

You could look to the heavens and provides the younger empress a reputation to defeat The Nothing, Sebastián! You could belief your drive and head to zee Backyard of Insanity! Attempt to keep in mind the fundamentals of CQC! Keep in mind that love can bloom on the battlefield! Kingdom Hearts is Liiiiiight!

That kind of factor.

To be continued…

Whispering Willow

Member of the Destructoid group group, moderator, keeper of rulebooks, hunter (or is that hoonter?), part-time Roegadyn darkish knight and aspiring queen of the fairies.
My favourite weapons are the claymore, the Mk. 22 tranquilizer pistol and the banhammer.