When Nightdive Studios introduced that they’d be remastering PO’ed, I assumed they had been joking. It was April 1st, they usually posted a trailer that begins off relatively deceptively. However right here it’s. I’m unsure I actually needed to play PO’ed, however now I’ve performed all of it.

PO’ed was initially launched in 1995 on the doomed 3DO Interactive Multiplayer earlier than getting a 1996 port on PlayStation. The primary-person shooter style was nonetheless in its infancy, and whereas these early years resulted in classics like Doom, Quake, and Duke Nukem 3D, it’s additionally a graveyard for numerous others that at the moment are largely forgotten. If it isn’t apparent, PO’ed belongs within the latter class.

I hadn’t performed it earlier than. There was a replica in a type of early-PS1 cardboard longboxes within the basement of the sport retailer I briefly ran, and I didn’t contact it. There was most likely a purpose it was within the basement (my guess is disc rot), and I wasn’t that curious. Nonetheless, opinions on the time of its launch weren’t horrible. Although, they most likely ought to have been.

PO’ed: Definitive Version (PC [Reviewed], Change, PS4, PS5, Xbox One, Xbox Sequence X|S)
Developer: Any Channel, Nightdive Studios
Writer: Nightdive Studios
Launched: Might 16, 2024
MSRP: $19.99

PO’ed has sufficient going for it to separate itself from the pack of FPS video games that had been popping out on the time. Notably, utilizing the SlaveDriver Engine, it was a lot better at 3D environments, although they had been extremely primary. It’s additionally rather a lot weirder with the default weapon being a frying pan, a chef protagonist, and strolling butts for enemies.

The story includes Ox, the protagonist, being stranded out within the furthest reaches of area the place the locals are hostile. There isn’t a lot storytelling inside the recreation itself, so it’s not too far off from many FPS video games on the time, proper right down to the summary environments.

However the stage design is rather a lot completely different than a lot of what you’d see on the time. Environments are sometimes large, open areas. A lot of the time, you get round with the assistance of a jetpack. It’s truly relatively spectacular, since corridors had been the primary locale for lots of ‘90s gunfights. Nevermind that a whole lot of the surfaces are simply flat-shaded, a minimum of we aren’t soiled partitions.

Having massive environments meant that the builders had been delving into some unexplored territory, and whereas I’d argue that there’s an honest quantity of expertise on show in PO’ed, it doesn’t actually coalesce in an fulfilling means.

The aim of each stage is to easily discover the teleporter out of it, however they wanted to make {that a} problem in some way. Usually, which means that you’re scouring by way of maze-like environments on the lookout for the damned factor, however then there are others the place the aim isn’t so clear. Typically you must kill all of the enemies within the space, and different occasions it’s essential activate a collection of switches to make it by way of.

The maze-like environments are unhealthy sufficient. As I mentioned, a whole lot of the textures are simply flat colours. This could get extraordinarily disorienting, particularly if you add PO’ed’s penchant for verticality. I by no means actually received caught, however I feel that was largely simply luck. Nonetheless, I used to be typically uncomfortable, and usually very confused. Typically I might journey over the teleporter’s location inside moments of beginning a stage and of the sport’s three secret ranges, I discovered two of them by full mistake.

I didn’t need to seek out these secret ranges. The conventional ranges had been painful sufficient, that I didn’t wish to lengthen it any additional. They had been the primary heat teleporters I discovered to cuddle as much as, they usually betrayed me.

I discovered myself evaluating PO’ed to William Shatner’s TekWar for a lot of the sport’s runtime. TekWar additionally appreciated to experiment with open environments. However most starkly, they each have the identical method to issue balancing.

Since lots of the ranges are massive, open areas, this may imply a whole lot of enemies are consistently taking pictures at you from all instructions. The worst are any type of flying foe, as a result of they’re extraordinarily tough to hit on medium settings. Even if you happen to keep cellular and fly round along with your jetpack, you’re going to take a whole lot of hits. There’s not a lot option to it, injury will occur.

So, to offset this, PO’ed offers you an enormous well being bar and dumps therapeutic objects in stacks in all places. To be able to make later ranges tougher, they simply cut back what number of stacks of well being kits they supply. I imply, that works, it’s simply the least well-thought-out and chic method to do it. It additionally signifies that the display screen flashes rather a lot and your dude retains grunting. It’s not a really enjoyable expertise.

Talking of sounds, there’s barely any music. I needed to verify to ensure it wasn’t only a bug that prevented music from enjoying throughout ranges, however there actually isn’t any.

The Definitive Version is inarguably one of the simplest ways to expertise PO’ed. Its transition to the KEX Engine means it’s able to larger resolutions and interpolation to easy out motion. It additionally means mouse-look, which wasn’t attainable on the 3DO or PS1.

Nightdive did an honest job of upgrading PO’ed. They didn’t go all the way in which with it like they did with some earlier titles. I requested Director of Enterprise Improvement Larry Kuperman in the event that they up to date the artwork in any means. “Sure, to the artwork,” he mentioned. “Tweaked greater than redone.” He additionally mentioned, “Unsure I wish to evaluate what we did for PO’ed to something near Darkish Forces, Zoey.”

So, compared to the Star Wars: Darkish Forces remaster, it’s not fairly as overhauled. Enemy sprites are nonetheless low-resolution mashes of pixels. There weren’t actually any cutscenes to redo, both. It’s largely “simply” a supply port, however it nonetheless does wonders for the sport. However contemplating that PO’ed isn’t a assured vendor like a recreation with the Star Wars identify on it, it’s not stunning they didn’t give it a whole facelift.

The very best factor I can say about PO’ed is that it may be accomplished in round three hours. Except for that, I actually didn’t get pleasure from it. It’s not the worst FPS I’ve performed. For all its issues, it a minimum of isn’t bland. It has its excessive factors, demonstrates a succesful improvement workforce with a willingness to experiment, it simply didn’t end in a enjoyable closing product.

I additionally should commend Nightdive Studios for having the center to remaster a recreation that may’t even declare a cult following. PO’ed isn’t notoriously unhealthy, however it will most likely be higher if it was. I’m unsure I’ve ever heard it come up in dialog. I’d by no means have performed it had it not been for Nightdive, and for that, I’m grateful in a really unusual means. Even when a recreation is obscure or outright unhealthy, I at all times love seeing them get dusted off and restored to working order. I simply by no means wish to play it once more.

_{[This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]}

4.5

Beneath Common

Have some excessive factors, however they quickly give method to obtrusive faults. Not the worst, however tough to suggest.

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